If you’re a follower, you’ll know I just had our second baby last week and I already have a 2.5 year old toddler, Toddler H. Here is a post I wrote at the end of May with the help of some fellow bloggers – tips for bringing home baby with a toddler.
As you might have seen I’ve written before about how excited Toddler H is for her baby sister’s arrival. Of course, being parents, we’re excited but slightly concerned about how the change will affect her. How she’ll react. So, before baby arrived, I asked fellow bloggers for their best tips for preparing your toddler for bringing home a newborn…
20 tips from fellow bloggers on bringing home baby when you have a toddler…
LOCK IN : Never feel obliged to host guests when you’re settling the whole family to having a new arrival. Our toddler found the endless visitors more distressing than the small baby in the corner and we quickly realised we needed to give her some normality back by closing our doors to well meaning visitors. Not saying no, just ‘not yet’! Put yourselves first, the rest can wait. http://www.mummuddlingthrough.com
Present from baby…
We bought our toddler a present ‘from the baby’ so he didn’t feel left out with all the gifts that baby was getting, and also so that he felt his baby brother was being kind to him. http://www.familymakes.com
Their own doll…
I bought my daughter a little doll when I brought my son home from hospital. She copied most of what I did with him on her baby and it really helped as she pretended she was grown up with a baby of her own. www.frugalfamily.co.uk
We bought my one year old a baby boy doll a month before my due date so he got used to having another little person around www.thriftymum.com
We had mummy and toddler days and still do ☺️ it’s good to make sure your toddler knows you can still spend time together. www.totsandtantrums.co.uk
Try and make time to spend with your older child one on one… even if it’s just bath time or a quick walk round the block! Both of you will relish the time together and it will mean they don’t feel so left out! www.scrapbookblog.co.uk
Involve them as much as possible but also make try to spend one and one time with them, even if it’s only a 10minute story or something similar. Http://www.talkingmums.com
Book to prepare…
We bought Za Za’s baby brother when our second daughter arrived and would read it when our third daughter arrived. It’s a gift we gave to our friends when they had second children. www.nelliepompoms.co.uk
I bought two books to prepare my son before his little sister came home. They’re Waiting for Baby and My New Baby by Rachel Fuller. They’re great for explaining to toddlers what to expect when Mummy is pregnant and also when baby comes home. www.thebreastestnews.co.uk
It takes time…
My tip would be not to expect the kids to just bond straight off. It’s taken 10 months for my boys to bond. http://maxandkai.co.uk
The first meeting….
I made a conscious effort to not be holding the babies when Charlie first met them. I wanted to be able to cuddle and hold him as he went to look at them. Twinderelmo.co.uk
I was told it was best not to be holding the baby when the toddler meets the baby for the first time. Show them the baby in the car seat or cot first. https://thetantrumtimes.com/
Our newest addition Dexter is 13 days old and Freddie will be three next month. I have made up some little boxes in several places in the house with wipes, cream, nappies etc so that he can grab things I need and help me as his special brother job. He enjoys this so much and even adds his own items such as a toy train or tractor. www.readyfreddiego.com
Try not to stop the toddler going near the baby instead encourage gentle and soft touches, if the toddler gets told off every time it goes near the baby they can end up resenting their new sibling, encourage kisses and cuddles. www.mummyof5miracles.com
Keeping them occupied…
Have a special box of toys and books that your older child can only play with when the baby is feeding, or a new film to watch together. Then you can all snuggle up while baby feeds, and your older child won’t feel left out
I bought my toddler a camera before his brother was born and he was obsessed with taking photos of his new baby brother on his snazzy camera after we brought him home ❤ I also made sure that he was the first person to meet his brother after he was born and let them start bonding together with nobody else around, just us 4 together www.rawchildhood.co.uk
We didn’t like the use of just getting a present from the baby to or eldest as it may carry on to future events / birthday, so we created a big brother and little brother present / kit – ourfairytaleadventure.com
Record the first meeting
My top tip would be to film the first time they meet. My older som’s reaction to seeing his baby brother for the first time was absolutely beautiful but we don’t have a video of it because we were so busy involved with it. A quick set up of the camera in the corner of the room before he came in would’ve been easy, in hindsight.
Getting guests involved…
Remember it’s not just down to you to make the toddler feel included. Get guests to greet the toddler first and give them some attention before they have cuddles.
Reuben loved that, nanny and grandad bought him a card that said congratulations on being a big brother and he was so happy.
Thank you everyone for your truly FAB tips!
I did take as many of these on board, and had already put some in action months ago. But, to be honest we will also be playing it by ear (and reaction!).