Baby B has turned 3 months old. Now I haven’t a clue where the time has gone since she was born, but likewise I feel like I’m still in a bubble. I haven’t a clue how we’ve got here. How I survive on two hourly night feeds and chasing a toddler all day.
Some days just start off bad, a day when Toddler H wakes too early and doesn’t want to be awake never goes well. A day when Baby B has switched from waking twice a night to four times, or the dreaded two (plus) wake ups one of which is 1.5 hours long. Yes it’s frustrating and a phase. Yes there are growth spurts and wonder weeks. Yes I know all this, and no I’m not depressed, I don’t have PND, but once in a while I do feel rather overwhelmed, shattered and like I need a break, a bit of me time or a hobby. I suppose in a way I’m stuck in a rut , stuck having arguments with Toddler H all day – some days she only says “I want xxx, I want yyy” and constantly changes her mind from one second to the next, all she does is throw tantrum after tantrum and that’s hard on anyone. I know all parents have these moments as friends have said the same. They’ve said how hard it is. How tired they are. I know it’s not just me, it’s the way it is being a stay at home mum.
It’s hard to entertain a toddler all day long and even harder to entertain one who doesn’t nap and is tired. It’s hard to do it with a newborn to feed. It’s a hard life, but I know it will get easier. It’s a bubble we just have to get through and my way of coping had been the assumption that Toddler H was starting play school in September. Now it looks like it’ll be October before she can start, I’m gutted. It’s completely thrown me. I had it in my head that from September I’d have a bit of time to myself, a bit of time for just Baby B and I. A bit of time not juggling so many balls. It was only going to be 2.5 hours, but to a sahm that’s amazing!
In the meantime today is a rubbish sleep deprived day, an “I want” day, and also an I’ll cry at everything type of day. It’s also another day where Toddler H wake Baby B every single time she falls asleep. Every time I’m feeding her she she’s there grabbing B’s hand and waking her. She’s roaring at her making her cry, again. Just like she did yesterday every single time. So, today in reality I feel like I’m surviving, not coping, just surviving. To be honest surviving is good, I could be crying, which has on occasion happened. In reality I guess I’m surviving on coffee and the amazing sanity provided by my closest friends. I should add one of whom has a toddler and twins, how she copes I’ve no idea! She really deserves a medal, and a night off soon.
Of course all days are different some are brilliant days, filled with fun, smiles, and fairy-tale happiness. They do sometimes happen! Some days H never wakes her sister, she’s quiet and gentle and so so loving. Don’t get me wrong she’s always gentle and wants to play with her sister, it’s just she doesn’t understand B needs to nap, she wants her awake to play, she wants B to love dinosaurs too and play with her. In away it’s cute. Well, no the roaring isn’t cute, it’s really scary and loud. Oh so loud.
Being a sahm is such an up and down life, and being a sahm with two kids is a whole other level of craziness. It’s gorgeous seeing happy cute moment, sisters holding hands or the smiles they have for each other. I just wish it was all smiles and cooing. I love being a sahm and am so glad I can be. Sometimes I just need to vent (and pop the TV on to occupy the toddler).
So yes I guess I’m coping, we’re out every day, we’re even keeping up with Toddler H’s swimming lessons, music groups, coffee breaks and play dates. All of these things keep me sane. I’m so so so happy our routine will be back now that school holidays are over. That will help massively.
How do you feel looking after two (or more) kids? What are your coping methods? Share all your tips please!!